The Stars Belong to You and Me

When the wild geese call

I want to follow

When the red hawk cries

I need to fly

When the stars alight

I must arise

And I want to colonize the universe

Put farms on Mars

Asteroids we'll mine

The moons become

Vacation homes

The rich stay rich

But even so

The galaxies we all will roam

And I'll never be happy

And I'll never be free

If I'm earth-bound forever

The stars will never belong to me

So drive yourselves,

My fellow humans

Know that we 

Are not alone

Statistically 

There're many natives

We must not treat them callously

Be ye warned

That somewhere out there

Intelligence 

Is in strange faces

Learn from the past

Lest we repeat it

Lay down your arms and fly in peace

And I'll never be happy

And I'll never be free

As long as we hate what's other

The stars will never belong to me

Fund ships not wars

Build large space stations

Feed the poor

And educate them

Indulge sci-fi

Imaginations

Always fight some more forever

Tomorrow sings

With hope and promise

But don't forget

Today, be honest

Everything 

You say and do

No one can ever be blamed but you

And I'll never be happy

And I'll never be free

As long as we just blame each other

The stars will never belong to me

And I'll finally be happy

And I'll finally be free

When the worlds above our heads

When the stars belong to you and me

Holes

I could scream my loneliness

Quiet across the nightstarred sky

Silent throughout the sunsoaked day

Audible only twixt moments and breaths

No one hears it even when I speak

I mutter my death thoughts but

No one ever quite makes out

What I'm bleeding through words

A membrane thin as frost divides us

But so pliable and flexible and soft

We may push and scratch and pull

Yet never breaking through? Not ever?

Surely there is a second, a scrap of time

Where I can contact you, love you, know

Who you are and who I am and why we

Are here separate and together always

There simply must be one place, one

Aperture permitting contact with not-me

At least one - why not more? Because

I have been so alone for so very long

But even millions of openings between

Does not guarantee that one of billions

Will necessarily find any gateway during

This or any other lifetime - not certainly

So the question becomes not whether

The gap exists, or the bridge, but rather

Why haven't I found my pathway to you?

Why are you and I still separate today?

And will we be apart and alone always?

Better Safe

Better safe than sorry

Better dead than whoring

Can't be safe when I'm lonely

Can't be safe when surrounded

Tell me how to protect myself

Don't bother stopping the hatred

Tell me what I did wrong this time

Don't bother catching the rapist

Can't be right if you've had sex

Can't be right if you haven't 

Better raped than horny

Better safe than sorry

Tears

Water of a well from deep within

Usually quiescent and thin

But in a storm the aquifer swells

Each down heavy as timber fells

I do not cease when the well runs dry

Rain won't fall when the storm subsides

The well can't weep when the levels drop

As the pressure lowers, my tears do stop

Untitled

I can't keep doing this

Stop the world I want off

Cease the ever turning wheel

The end will never come

Obsessive-Compulsive Suicidal Ideation

Waiting with bated breath

For the next passing death

Every single passing car

Opportunity, mind ajar

Every blade and every lake

Every bridge my life to take

I don't want, I don't need

Yet cannot take the passing speed

Wheels are turning round and round

My heart abeat beneath the ground

Never longer on my sleeve

Never stronger smiles deceive

All is well and all is right

Until alone I snuff the light

Waiting with bated breath

For the next passing death

Stalemate

See life and death in a battle of wits.
The outcome of the battle, of course, is fixed.
Death always wins at the end, it is true.
But life is valued more highly by you.
So who wins the game? Who takes the prize?
Is it death's mourning or life's precious sighs?
For every life surely comes to an end.
And every death brings life once again.

Fragmented Questions

You and I are just heading in different directions.
What is that supposed to mean to me?
That I am going down while you are going up?
That I am getting worse while you are getting better?

Are you making some form of progress
you just haven't shown to me yet?
Are you improving your life in ways
you haven't been able to express?

And please, don't do things for me
when I never asked you to do them.
And please, don't answer my requests
with something other than what I requested.

No one, seeking specific reinforcement,
has ever been satisfied with an alternative
form of compliment or flattery or love.
Instead, you deny by omission.

And in that denial I wonder whether
something else lurks, couched in dismissal.
Things you've said in the past, admittedly
intoxicated, still sound in my mind.

Were they warnings? Were they promises?
Were they signs? Were they lies?
When did we become opposites?
When did we become alone?

And at the conclusion of our friendship
I feel more like I have lost a lover
and less like I ever had a friend
than I did when I first met you. 

Quarter To Five (AM)

Like a bell that will not stop ringing
Insomnia is persistent
Overcoming any attempts to drown it out

All noise and light and sensation
Becomes louder, more irritating
And somehow even sleep seems painful

The very worst part of it all
Is waking up the next day and
Knowing you'll have to do it all over again