Yule Hymn

Mother Night, she comes again to give birth to sun;
The old sun dies down and then is reborn, good son;
The Holly King reigns, for over Oak he has won.

Though winter is long and cold and dark, spring will come:
There is no life anew without the death it's from;
So give to those who have none from those who have some.

For the dark times are lonely and winter is cruel,
Still the sun rises and gives its warmth, golden jewel -
Be like the sun and give all a bright, joyous Yule!

Back Spasm

I awaken in suffering, pain;
I cannot even speak for the strain
is too much, expressing adds to my stress -
confessing need goes against the grain.

Another Passing Dream

In dreams I am still hunted
In dreams I am still haunted
but each passing dream
but each passing day
carries me further and further away
One day I shall have freedom
from my past, from my attackers, from my pain
One day I shall have liberty
to act, to will, to dream
One day I shall have peace

Exposure

We can give you exposure,
for poverty - is a cure;
(death cures all things) I refuse because ill-
considered exposure is known to kill.

Entry Fee

Money,

hard earned,

blood from turnips;

cold hard cash - blockade

prevents action, motion;

fence, cage,

barrier.

First Ex-Husband

Thought he was related to Macbeth,
our marriage doomed to not-so-tragic death,
never in love with me 'til for another I pine -
couldn't even get me a Valentine.

Second Ex-Husband

He gave himself his own nickname,
marriage to him brought nought but shame;
he likes to hurt those who are small,
I wish I had seen through it all.

In underwear he leaves brown skids,
likes porn to watch the rape of kids,
used my pic to dupe men of cash;
wish upon him bitterness, ash.

Anodyne

To be completely inoffensive is trying,
especially if wishing to avoid lying,
and into others' private lives ever prying;
one must away from all action be quite shying.

Dissociation

Who am I?

No,
this is not some cutesy riddle,
but rather
a deep-seated lack of certainty
about the self.

I used to define myself
by my relationships to family
(daughter, sister, granddaughter,
then wife)
or to friends
(the quiet one, the artsy one, the weird one,
the depressed one)
or even to career
(student, teacher, office monkey,
unemployed,
overworked)

but now I am uncertain
(often I am uncertain)
for I have more than three jobs
(teacher, nanny, cook, cleaner, artist, poet)
(none of which pay sufficiently)
(none of which are full-time)
(none of which come with benefits)
(I will work until I die)
and my relationship with my family is tenuous at best
(I cannot blame them, I can only blame myself)
and my friends feel so far away

I lose track of myself
maybe it is because I have been lied to
about myself
(those things did not happen to you,
you are remembering them wrong,
you made them up,
you lie)

Perhaps my brain is incapable
of maintaining a coherent image
because my character is flawed,
my personality is cracked,
I am a madwoman

am I even a woman?

am I even human?

am I even I?

Inhale and connect to the flesh,
however temporarily,
for you have work to do today,
all days,
and there is no time to disconnect,
even though it happens unintentionally,
you must force yourself through it
whoever you are.