Bone

I was five
going on six
and I broke bones,
two
large ones,
a compoundfracture
(an important piece
of medical jargon)
of the radius and ulna.
I wanted to be in
the cool kid's club
the big girl's club
at the babysitter's house
but they had a gymnastic test
to determine my coolness
my bigness.
Perform a cartwheel,
become instantly adult,
a member of the in-crowd
(peer pressure peer pressure)
and I had never taken dance
or tumbling
much less gymnastics
but by god they would not exclude me
(my zeal proving my utter lack of cool).
Frankly,
bones were an abstract concept
at the age of five
going on six
like sex or romance
or retirement
or income;
that is,
bones were an abstract concept
until a loudcrack
and the sight of my previously
unremarkable forearm
now bent into a deep U
when arms are supposed to be shaped only
like a long l.
I don't remember crying out
or crying tears,
or the drive to the emergency room;
it was probably the shock.
I do remember going into the room to have my
bones set
but I probably passed out
when they snapped the break
back into place.
The babysitter
brought me a treat:
fast food breakfast food
while I recovered.
Do you know how long it takes
bones to heal?
For months I had to wear
the plastic bag from the loaves of slice bread
we purchased at the supervalue grocery
over my arm anytime I wanted
to bathe
or swim
(it was a torturous summer)
to protect the stupidcast
on my stupid brokenarm
and everything was stupid and dumb.
And even when I returned to school
I had to write with my stupid left hand
(a skill I now appreciate more)
and when they cut through the plaster
(hotsaw warmbreathing
as it buzzed into the cast)
and cracked it open
to reveal
my pale,
shrunken,
weakened
right arm
I was in shock once more.
At home
or the babysitter's
I washed away several months of itchy
deadflaking skin
still stunned
at the almost green pallor
of my several months sunless skin.
It became a weatherwise ache;
those who read me closely
have noted that I sometimes
still clutch
that right arm to me
bent as if in a cast
early in the mornings
or in enduring stress
as my lips press
into a long thin horizontal l.