But first, a song:
Shadowdancer
Do you know the way to call down the moon?
Can you find the perfect setting for the stars in the sky?
Can you paint a sunset on a Saturday night?
Have you felt the breath of wind at midnight?
You say you're gonna give me the sun & the moon
You'll crown my head with a circlet of stars
But baby I don't even know if you have learnt the passages of my heart...
...much less the paths of the stars
(Refrain)
'Cause I'm a shadow dancer, baby
Flying on misty wings
Yeah, I'm a shadow dancer, baby
I run from the sun and I know what the nightingale sings.
I cast my magic spell on you
To turn you to the night
But if you can't see through the darkness to find me
Your only friends will be your own demons
Now baby I cannot guide you to me
Because you stand so far in the sun
You keep yourself in the light and pretend that you've got nothing to hide...
...but what you make plain I know is a lie.
(Refrain)
'Cause I'm a shadow dancer, baby
Flying on misty wings
Yeah, I'm a shadow dancer, baby
I know what you hide from yourself in the light of morning
So when you next see the moon casting shadows
Or when you see the stars falling out of the sky
Know that I dance again the nighttime
'Cause in the sun you let yourself go blind
(Refrain)
Oh, I'm a shadow dancer, baby
Swingin' on a star
Yeah, I'm a shadow dancer, baby
I run from the sun and I know what the nightingale sings.
Desert
I truly deserve
every bad thing that's ever happened to me
I know you agree
I'm a dolt and a moron and a fool
and I'm useless except as a tool.
And the only way we relate
is to hate on me
Truly you know
what I can do to stop this little game we play
There is only one way
to do this today
I cannot stay
For very much longer
I know that you're stronger
because you lie
about how I
have hurt you
But my lack of strength
and resolve makes me wait
I hesitate
Though I've found the gun
There's no way I can handle
this heavy mantle
And your gravity
saps me dry.
Relativism
If there's no such thing as truth
If there's no such thing as knowledge
Why the fuck d'you go to college?
Why the fuck d'you go to college?
3.1415926...
You, a doll.
I alone undressed it softly
Quiet and light
disrobed
Beginning careful
Finishing now
It was entirely
with gentle or morbid care
the toy uncovers you.
Interaction of Old & New
New era discotheque
The bright lights
have only changed a little
mirrors and chill rooms
A heavy bass thud
So the crowd can track
what they are supposed to do
And only in smaller circles
is true talent showcased
A more complex interweaving
of melody and rhythms
occurs in a nearby room
in a jungle
of tunes and beats
While on the main floor
the DJ spins
the same old
same old
and remixes it
into more of the same
for more of the same.
Enflamed
I am on fire
I wake thinking of you
I go to sleep doing the same
And when I dream, you visit me
and, sometimes, call my name
I have no ambition
other than to sleep at your side
and give you joy
and give you peace
and a safe place to abide
But I am tortured
by your distance
by the absence of loving speech
So I cry out as I wake
and in my dreams do you beseech
Prayers
I yearn for your happiness,
for your peace and tranquility,
for your physical and intellectual pleasure
and for your nearness to me.
I dream of our togetherness
the solitary solidarity of two
you could lose yourself in me
and I myself in you.
I beg for your presence,
for you to just give me your time
so I can give to you my love
in other ways than mere rhyme.
High School Dissociative Spell
Did I die?
Just a moment ago,
Did you feel a change?
Something internal
but the earth felt it, too.
It sudden got quiet
The wind ceased to blow
The sun just got cold
& the light seemed to slow
& all of the world
just stopped to go
& I can't help but wonder
did I just die?
I'm no longer dead,
of that I am sure
But the way I am living
Is no longer the same
as surrounding mortals do.
I'm certain I could fly
I've done it before
quite exhilarating.
& I've flown on my own two wings
but
it no longer makes me dizzy!
So did I die?
Prelude to a Change
Whoops, I fell in love for a while
and now my dreams are all over
Graduation has come and gone
And still you keep me alone
I never knew what I meant to you
I guess I'll never see
On to Georgia without you, my love
Alone, unhindered, and bitterly free
What was woman taught of independence and self-mastery?
Naught but the ludicrous defense of her precious virginity
I gave you the latter, you insist on the former
When all I ever wanted was a we
The only thing I ever got back from my love was me.
Small Love
small love have i
to give to any but you
and, in turn, you cannot take
out of fear (hope?) for that love
you know is dead
yet you cling to it
help(hope?)lessly
she wipes the stars out of your tears
making your heart dull
no longer does your love scintillate
so i ask the stars to shine for you tonight
because i want to see your
eyes smile again
you take my hand like
a dying butterfly (it must be)
you grasp at words
and form half-words to reassure me
but the eyes (windows to the soul, they are, and all)
they dully gleam behind your facade
where are the tears that don't come?
why can't i cry for you?
why can't i help to heal
these (those) beloved wounds?
little love have i to (waste on a lost cause)
give - but i would give that i could
give it to you
Pandora's Box
Sweet lies we tell ourselves
of loves & sunshine & glory
of miracles & gods & joy
of kindness & truth & beauty
Such honey-coated bile.
We open our hearts and in them we see
Such things to make us cower
and try to slam them shut
before more flies out to eat us
in the dark.
Rape & murder
Treachery & infidelity
Greed & lust & ignorance & impiety
But after it's closed
we look back in fear
and hope is the shining white-
the biggest lie of all
It encrusts the heart like fat on an anorexic.
The Lonely Philosophy
When, in fact, there is no whole
only many subjective becomings,
And when there is no true communication
but a great & terrible silence,
Grave & overwhelming,
THERE IS STILL DANCING.
On this bridge, Lorca warns:
BEWARE! - and
BEWARE! - and
BEWARE!;
Because when you are aware
of how completely separate
and meaningless
you are
Then you can compose fairy music
in your head
And the fairies bring gifts
to those who create for them.
The fae long ago left this plane
and so are jealous of any
who could tell of their ways.
Do not teach your music to the masses!
Trampling, they will soil
your clean and pure robes
and your music they will ruin,
bawling it out noxiously as they
gyrate in their own filth
dry-humping, rutting -
(it's the only way they know how to dance)
and this music is for light feet!
Light hearts! Cold, light thoughts!
And solitude.
Poinsettia
Blood drops
spilling o'er
a crown
of gold
green stems
of life
support the
crimson head
Christ born
on this
SILENT NIGHT
Later to
be crucified
with his
dropping blood
spilling o'er
a crown
of gold
Heart's Wood
Tendrils of friendship
bravely extended
Often finding no point
on which to fix
and dig in, winding
round dead supporting
structures of bygone relationships.
Sometimes find
temporary or passing
foundation for growth,
occasionally meeting
like with like and
springing off of each other
towards separate goals.
Rarest of all is when
two (or more) come together,
grasping the same
living trunk and covering
the entire organism
with a leafy and fruitful
blossoming that carries
both towards a like end.
Barren
Growth not rejected
But wholly unnourished
Though watered by tears
And fertilized by ashes
Our friendship inspected
And not having flourished
Though we may be peers
No love, only clashes
Heart thrice neglected
And hopes quite demolished
Leaving nothing but fears
And misery that quashes
Affections deflected
And heart left impoverished
Holding back jeers
And anger that bashes
Spring Solar Bath
It's rare that I write in the sun
or about the sun anymore
for I've been nursing a moon-tan
a thousand months or more
I seek a place to lay in the sun
on the beach near the sea where it's warm
following years of darkness and death
of night's winds and winter's cold storm.
Why is it I feel so inept in the eye
of the sky or society's views?
Is is that I fear to gain a new color?
Or my pallor I prefer not to lose?
Yet even in the heat of the day
a cooler breeze still blows
And a little ice is needed
for the propagation of the rose.
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