(for T & C)
O sestra -
self with a different face
- I love you more
than I love myself.
I wish I could live for you
and make sweeter
each bitter day
with the knowledge
of this love reciprocated
total
and eternal.
I would make it so
(were I Queen of All)
that I had never caused you:
pain, discomfort,
unhappiness, illness,
or any deprivation.
And yet:
I have been leaving you
ever since I got here
and I cannot
bring myself to stay
for your sake alone
because this pain
is overwhelming.
I've known since I was
very young - - -
eight, or seven - - -
that suicide
comes to us by blood
and by madness,
and none of us
anywhere
is immune.
Whether I leave you
by my hand
or another's
know how I longed for death.
I seek an end and a beginning:
a new life
where I stand
a better chance
of happiness.
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