Explain

Why on earth believe anyone cares about you?
When you were born, you didn't bother to cry,
for there were too many tears to be shed this life.
Before you even reached schooling age,
your mother was ready to give you up,
with or without your sister,
preferring to indulge in drugs instead.
Before you reached adulthood and initiation,
your father was willing to use and abuse you,
just like every other male person with whom
you had any sort of social relationship whatsoever
for the majority of your stupid, disgusting life.
Parents raise their hands in anger, in vice,
and you only learned to blame yourself
for being so horrendously vile and repulsive
that they would forsake their sacred bonds so.
************************************
Friendship, pah.
What on earth is a friend, do tell?
Are these the people who lie to your face,
mislead, obfuscate, delay, disguise, and bemuse,
ostensibly for your own good,
but only ever for their own satisfaction?
You have known far too many
who prefer to save their own faces
in the name of protecting your feelings,
without considering how you feel about truth.
You get that everyone has needs,
You try to deflect from too much talk of yourself,
You are known for your motherly caretaker vibe,
and this is only ever to your detriment
because no one,
not one single person
comes to see you when you grieve.
Fairweather friends: an oxymoron.
***********************************
An oldest sibling cannot use younger siblings
as a support network of any kind
for the eldest must be the one
who provides support and stability.
Your only such provisal
has been through your absence
these fifteen or so years.
You are the lacked, the lack, the lacking.
This lack serves as a point of gravity.
***********************************
The rest of the world is completely oblivious.
No one even knows that you exist
excepting perhaps some automaton
far outside your community.
Human recognition is a fantasy.
Why on earth does it matter so?
Who cares? Who cares, Ray?
Who cares?
And why?