The Spirit of Gravity

I am almost able
to see my demon now:
an imp crouching darkly before me.
Impa shilup, I name you,
soul-eater, shadow being,
malicious spirit, spirit of gravity,
dark specter, spectacular lie,
great entity, cringing dwarf,
you have been with me since birth,
perhaps even before.
You are my greatest weight,
my deepest sigh,
my darkest night,
my weeping eye,
my longest hour,
my ebbing power,
my hungry heart,
my abusive mate.
I have heard
you are a born murderer,
knocking men from tightropes,
waylaying wayfarers,
driving the best of humanity
to madness, death, and destruction,
and you probably killed
my great-grandfather, too.
Suicide is painless
but getting there hurts like hell.
And even if
you have to go through hell
to get to heaven,
not every path below
will bring you up again.
So here we stand
at the crossroads,
at the gate -
this moonlight, this spider,
and I,
and my unwelcome companion -
Nalusa Chito, Nalusa Falaya,
the ghost who calls
and receives no response,
dark imitator, foul thief
of my time and my life;
and the last man
brings me no pain
so great as the perpetual thought
that I might have to endure
my own inability to endure
not this once,
not twice,
but eternally.