i wish i had the courage
to eat bullets
or nails
or glass
or poison
i wish i had steel arms
that never gave in
never suffered
or broke
or failed
or ached
i wish i had a heart of stone
that could not scream with agony
could not weep
or keen
or moan
or dream
i wish i had the kind of friends
you only read about in books
hear about in songs
or watch on TV
or movies
or online
instead i am forever alone
like some kind of joke
in a way that is
wholly infernal
or obscene
or profane
or mundane
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